To Infinity and Beyond...

Amy, a friend of mine has inspired me to write about my summer/future plans: http://amylopectinamy.blogspot.com/2010/05/you-know-how-excited-i-am.html

This one will be about some future plans of mine. At least what I know of them so far. Although most of my faithful readers kinda know what's going on already, I figured I could clarify a little more. At least now I can tell the whole story...

I guess it all started a year ago from last December, so December 2008. I was attending the Chi Alpha World Missions Summit in Cincinnati, OH. (I have a sticker on the back of my computer to prove it... ) This conference was a great time to get away, and more importantly, get closer to God. The funny thing is, looking back, I had no idea what God had started in me back then. Towards the end of the conference, a missionary with national Chi Alpha made the appeal to give a year and pray about a lifetime... What this means is to serve a Chi Alpha group and stuff for a year, to give your time to ministry and see what God might have planned for the rest of your life. I guess you could say they were recruiting people, and I decided I should volunteer. I am not gonna lie, part of me was doing it because everyone else was charging the stage. But there was another part of me that actually wanted to do it. That particular part of me felt that I almost owe my life to Chi Alpha. Hopefully God can work with that (I think He can...). So I signed the card and put it in the basket (and forgot about it).

I am here at Purdue majoring (or trying to) in medical technology. God kinda put a stop to that you could say. I wasn't selected to the program either time I applied. I have a good application, good references, and a decent GPA, but apparently that's not where God wanted me. I had always figured that if that's what God wanted for me, the door would open when I poked it so that I could walk in. I was poking my door really hard, but it wouldn't budge.

So a couple weeks ago I get this e-mail, I don't know where they got my e-mail from. But I have suspicions that it was from the card I signed a few years ago to volunteer for Give a Year, Pray about a Lifetime. It's about this "menternship" program they are starting down at National Chi Alpha. You can read for yourself here, because it's really hard to explain right now: http://www.chialpha.com/leaders/training/menternships/

I read the e-mail and briefly looked at the attached brochure and then forgot about it. I guess God has a way of remind you of things... I had always remembered signing that card, and had thought about it some. I wasn't sure what giving a year back would look like. I was definitely scared out of my mind about thinking about doing it. Let alone committing to it for the year...

I guess I felt like I wasn't good enough to be used, like I was too messed up for God to do anything good with me (which actually makes me a perfect candidate for use by God).

One afternoon at corporate prayer, the staff asks for people to write their names on the board concerning future things. There was a column for people feeling called into the ministry, people considering giving a year back, people that wanted to support financially, and another column that I don't remember. I saw these columns on the board. This was my moment of truth. Up until this point, I had not really told anyone else about signing the Give a Year card. I am pretty sure, unless they told all the campus pastors, that anyone knew I had signed it. So as usual, people rushed the chalkboard to put their name up. I kinda took my time getting up to the chalkboard. The idea is that you put your name on the board showing interest, and get prayed for. If it is a category that they can give you further advice for, they would do so, just as in my case.

So remember how I described how I felt I wasn't good enough to serve for the year, like there wasn't much I could bring to the table? Well a few weeks ago I went on this retreat for this class I was going through at church. Let's just say I highly recommend the Cleansing Stream class. Also to make a long story short (this post is long enough already right?), I had never felt so free after that retreat. I felt like I could do anything. I felt free from everything that was entangling me before. I felt as if I could fly... I think I finally felt "the peace that surpasses all understanding" (Phil 4:7).

I finally had the peace I was searching for. For the weeks leading up to the end of my last semester, people would always ask me what I was doing with the rest of my life. I would respond with "I don't know". They some would also flippantly tell me to Give a Year. Easy for them to say. They weren't looking it squarely in the face.

So I finally met with my campus pastor and we went over the previously mentioned menternship program. I asked my parents what they thought about it, and they approved. That made it official. I really am doing this Give a Year thingy. It felt sooooooo good to finally have an answer for people as to what I will be doing post-graduation.

I guess I could say God has made it really easy to walk through this door. This is really the only thing that has opened up for me. It is really easy to rely on God when He is your only option. I really feel like the walls are closing in on me sometimes. Old Me would have worried a hole in his stomach by now, but thankfully I have God's peace so I don't have any holes in my stomach.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

For some reason, I like writing novels on this thingy...