One Month Update...

Hello everyone!

I guess I haven't been writing on this blog too often lately. I have been busy with work at the daycare, and work with Chi Alpha Purdue. This first month has definitely been a life changing month for me. I now absolutely love and adore kids, especially the younger ones after working at the daycare. I can now change a diaper correctly and fairly quickly. I have gained limited experience on the administrative side of running a large scale ministry like the one here at Purdue Chi Alpha. I still have this feeling that things are just getting started here, even after four years of being on campus, or in my case a month of being on campus. I feel as if we are on the verge of explosion, that God is preparing to do something bigger than we have previously experienced here.

Even after a month of being here, I am still trying to find my place among the staff, my role, how I can fit in among the other staff members. It is always tough coming in from the outside and trying to make yourself part of a group, but I know God has a place and a plan for me here, so I try not to worry about that so much.

This has so far been a month of firsts. The first time I've lived on my own, the first time I've gone grocery shopping for myself, the first time I've held a baby, the first time I've changed a diaper, the first time I've lead a bible study, the first time I've trusted God so much.

It has been a wild and crazy ride, and it can only get better from here...

Little Children

As many of you may or may not already know, I now work at a daycare during the day. After working there for a few days, I have gained a new prospective in life. And a new prospective on what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 18: 5, 6 which says:

5: "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 6: But of anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Before last week, I had never really played with kids, much less be responsible for their well-being for most of the day. Needless to say, I was extremely scared before going in for the first time on Friday. I had to do a lot of praying beforehand. I feel that God blessed my prayers and answered them. I am trying to have a great attitude about this job, and I believe it's working. My job at the daycare doesn't even feel like actual work yet...

It amazes me how trusting children are. Today, I would hold out my arms wide open and smile, and most of, if not all would run to me without doubt or question. I think this type of trust and belief that children have is was Jesus was talking about. You should never take advantage of children or even believers who are young in the faith. At such young ages, children don't have the ability to think for themselves and make their own decisions yet. I now have more revelation about this passage in the book of Matthew. Yay!

You Know, It's Really Funny...

You know it's really funny what happens when you get desperate before God and cry out to him. You will usually get exactly what you need, or rather what he has planned for you. This Friday and Saturday were especially tough for me. I was eaten up completely by the stress of trying to raise support to be on campus for Chi Alpha Purdue and finding a job. It was so bad I had to lay down the other day for a little while. Then you know, if you go out in public, you have to put on a smiley face for everyone so they don't know what's going on. I was pretty much in tears. Maybe I find it hard to motivate myself. I am just not the most self-motivated person ever. I work better in a bigger setting where I have a specific job I can do like cashiering at Walmart for example. Over the summer there were many times when I doubted what I was getting myself into. By then it was way to late to run away of course. Of course if I were to run away, the enemy would just shoot me in the back so what's the point anyway? I really am trying my best, and God is meeting me at .000000000000000000001% of the way there. Thanks for making up the difference God!

I hate moving.

I hate moving. There is too much stress, wondering if you remembered everything, and general craziness. However, it's the only way to initiate change sometimes. You would think after moving so much as a child and in my years in college, that I would be a professional by now, but it's not the case. I am completely exhausted today (Thursday) with pretty much no end in sight. I am not too sure that my BFF caffeine can even help me now. Hopefully seeing all my close friends again will give me the energy to keep it going until Sunday or Monday when I might have a chance to rest. It's a good thing that I have been getting into coffee over the summer more and more. I guess sleeping instead of writing this would help too... God help me!

Summer Update 2

I realize I haven't been doing summer updates on my life as a Chi Alpha staffer so I will go ahead and do that. A few month back I reported that I was sending out support letters and stuff. I have been following up on those and God has been blessing the conversations I have been able to have. I still have a little more time to do some last minute fund raising. It looks as of now that I will need to work a part time job to make things work according to how they want it to work, which I am fine with of course. I am well over half way there as far as fund raising is concerned. It all depends on the people I have left to meet with. Hopefully if I can raise a few more hundred dollars in monthly commitments, then I won't have to work too much on the side.

It has been a depressing summer for me for the most part with the stresses of fund raising and just the other things that have happened to me, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally. I started all of this stuff with very little training and absolutely no idea what I was doing. Lately most of the people I have contacted just want to give to me and don't even feel like they need to hear my presentation (which I am totally fine with haha...). I think if I keep plugging along for the next week and I find that part-time job, that life will be good.

I can't wait to get to campus and have a chance to impact lives. I have a ton of ideas I would like to try. I am willing to try most anything, and I know that this year will be one of the most challenging of my life. I know that my leaders are fully prepared to stretch me as far as they can, and maybe they can finally realized the potential they see in me that I may not even see myself.

Thank you to all of those who have given or prayed or will be a part of my life for the next year. See you in a week. Yay!

Stop and Smell the Roses...

Stop and smell the roses... I am sure everyone of you out there reading this has heard that expression before. It can have a variety of meanings. I think our society is far too bent on working so hard that life passes many of us by. We need to stop and smell the roses. Stop and take a minute to look at the world around you. What cool things are happening right under your nose that you don't know about? You may never know unless you stop and take a whiff... I feel like my life has been like that somewhat. I am one that is not absolutely bent on scheduling every little minute of every day, but sometimes I feel like life is passing me by and that I need more adventure in my life. Today I went to the Indiana State Fair for the first time ever. I have lived in Indiana for nearly 11 years and I had not yet been down there. It was an epic experience. I got to see tons of sweet animals and even had an elephant ear. It was amazing. Probably one of the most fun days of the summer that I've had. This summer had been the toughest summers to date with my dog dying and my Dad losing his job but then getting another one (Praise God!). It had just seemed like one thing after another was just piling on. But today I stopped and smelled the roses. I think that next summer I want to take a few weeks and just drive all around the country, mostly to the west of the Mississippi River since I haven't really visited out there much. I just want to do something totally random and crazy like that! I have determined that it will take me 3-4 days to drive out to the beaches in California. Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough adventure in my life. So maybe stopping and smelling the roses means adding a little spice to your life, a little more adventure. It will look different for everyone, but I think it would do us all a lot of good to do it more often. As long as you're not allergic to the pollen...

Nicknames

I have always wanted a nickname. Something fun or abbreviated that people call me. Like "Andy" for "Andrew" or "Mike" for "Michael" or "Becca" for "Rebecca" (or "Bekah" for "Rebekah" alternatively). Or something fun like "The Situation" if any of you have ever seen Jersey Shore... Since I don't really have friends I have known longer than say 5-10 years, it's not like I have lifelong friends that know me inside and out.

Obviously there are some rules regarding nicknames like you can't give yourself a nickname or stuff like that. I am all about following the rules and stuff.

I think one acceptable one for me is "Paulie". Its an augmented version of my name. Since I have such a short name, in order to have a different form, I have to add on to it. I have 3 or 4 people that currently use that to get my attention regularly, so I think it counts...

I guess I will start introducing myself as "Paulie" instead of "Paul" and see what happens...
(and if you read this, you should know what to call me from now on.)