One Step at a Time...

You know, there's that proverb that goes something like...

"You can't walk a mile unless you take the first step."

... or something like that. (Don't quote me on that, haha)

But you get the idea...

I am by no means wise enough to suggest new proverbs (I will leave that to the professionals), but I propose this addition: You must also peek at where you are walking to (or at least have someone watching for you). It is important to walk with a purpose, or you will get lost. Lost in a store, lost in life, etc... The whole picture is important.

Examples:

The walls around Jericho didn't collapse on the first day. The Israelites had to start on the first day and journey to the seventh day. And even on the seventh day they had to still march seven times around the city... (Joshua 6) They had the big picture of the city of Jericho falling, and had to begin on the first day marching... They also had God watching or determining the future for them...

Or it's like when a guy first meets a girl. You don't jump straight to putting your arm around her or holding her hand. You start with trying super hard to remember her name and maybe a few details from your first, probably surface level conversation. Perhaps a little later you might secure that "first date". You also then will seek out the opinion of your friends about this new "person of interest". (Not that I am some kind of professional at boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, never having been in one yet...)

I am only merely trying to suggest that it is important to think about where you have been, where you want to go, and where you are actually going. I also think it's important to think about how you will get to where you are going. As for me, I have God watching my path, so I only have to see a step or two forward at a time. Any more than that and I just might explode. (which would be the end of this blog by the way.)

The first step is just as important as the last step, and you can't get to the last step without the first step.

Just something to think about.

Lord, Here I Go...

Lord, I don't know where you have called me,

But here I go.

Lord, I don't know what I am doing,

But here I go.

I have never trusted you like this before.

I can't imagine what it will be like.

I believe in you.

You will never leave me, you will never forsake me,

so here I go.

You have plans for me, you have blessings for me,

so here I go.

I know you are with me, so here I go...

Reflections on the Past 4-5 Years of My Life

Senior Year Part 2 (2009-2010)

Wow how time flies when you're busy obtaining your world class education at a world class institution such as Purdue University. I had finally arrived to what would be my last year at Purdue, although it seemed like it only took minutes to get there. The previous year I had lived alone, but this year I would have a legit roommate (and he is pretty legit...). I stayed in Cary since it was pretty cheap compared to some other residence halls. I had my friend Andy living in my room and my friend Dan living in my room as well (he was in the room so much that we should have charged him rent).

Since my college career was winding down and I was just finishing up some odds and ends, I didn't have that many classes left to take at this point. First semester I had 15 hours and second semester I had 12 hours, and they were not the most difficult I have ever had. Needless to say, I had a ton of extra time on my hands to do whatever I felt like. I would like to say I used that time for something productive, but I probably didn't. A lot of the time was spend watching my roommate doing his engineering homework.

This year was a little different for me. It was my last chance to make an impact on the campus. It was my last chance to leave my mark. And so that's what I tried to do there. I had an opportunity to meet a lot of new people in Chi Alpha and as it so happened, many of them lived in the dorms. I thought it would be nice, especially for the freshman that I had met who were new to this gigantic campus, if there was some way we could build some community. My solution was food, which solves most problems in life. I really enjoyed all the times I had with my friends at those huge lunch or dinner tables we had. I would look forward to the two or three times a week that I could eat with my friends. It was epic great times! We also had tons of adventures like the time we just walked all over the campus taking random pictures. We walked around the agriculture mall and the vet building on the campus (which has an animal grand prix portrayed in statue form). I built many memories that I will take with me for the rest of my life (or facebook can remind me if necessary) and I hope that they have something from this year that they can take with them as well.

Our Chi Alpha group was really taking off. God was pouring in the numbers for us. We had really had some growth, almost to the point of being too big for our current operations. It has been really great to watch what God is doing in this group of outstanding college students. Moving our main meeting to Fridays turned out to be an excellent decision, although I doubted it at first.

Last year I had a chance to do interviews for my clinical year of Medical Technology. It was round two for me. The two people I interviewed with last year happened to remember me. It took me a while, but I decided that was a good thing. I interviewed with three hospitals this time instead of two. I felt slightly more confident about it this year than last year. It was a very nerve-racking time for me, but I got through it with God's help. I didn't end up making it in again, but that turns out to be a good thing as I will explain later...

This year for spring break I decided to do something I had never done before. Go travelling on my own somewhere else. I visited my good friend Cory down in Vincennes, Indiana. I had such a good time playing his Xbox a lot and meeting more of his friends who were very nice and welcoming to me. It was really refreshing to me to visit him. I had a great time, and I hope to do more stuff like that in the future.

Now onto the two things that all seniors must face: Graduation! And what to do after graduation. My plan for after graduation for the last couple of years was to do the clinicals that I previously mentioned and then become a Medical Technologist. Those plans were trashed when I was rejected from going to the clinical classes. I hadn't really thought about what I would do as a backup plan before. I hadn't even really looked for a job for after graduation like most people would do. I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do.

Well a couple of weeks before graduation, I decided to do the "Give a Year, Pray About a Lifetime" with Chi Alpha. That solves my planning issues for the next year at least...

I had a lot of things running through my head at the end of the school year. I was very excited to be done with school finally. I was feeling very accomplished, like I had finally reached the top of the mountain I had been trying so hard to climb the last five years. It was a surreal feeling to walk across that stage with all the lights shining on me. After all the hard work, after all the sleepless nights, after all the homework, projects, and other random assignments the professors liked to throw upon me, I won.

I had the paper to prove it too...

The last thing I guess I should mention is the graduation party I had. I was very worried that not many people would be able to make it because it was far away from Lafayette. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see that many of my friends were able to make it down. Some even made it that I wasn't expecting. I wanted everyone from my college life to have an opportunity to meet the people that make me who I am, my parents and sister. It was a great way to cap off my 5 year expedition.

At the end of the day, I am proud of everything that happened in those five years. I would never ever take any of it back.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Summer Update...

Here's a summer update so far...
I have sent out the first wave of my support letters for next year. I need to trust God to provide for me now (as always). I will be calling people soon and possibly meeting with them, but not before I do a ton of praying. I do not yet have a part time job for the summer, which is kind of a problem, but I will keep looking. In the meantime, I have been doing a bunch of reading. I am almost finished with UnChristian, I have just started Experiencing Father's Embrace and I did finally finish Power Through Prayer (although that one may require a second read through for full effect). I also have enough books on my shelf to keep me busy for the entire summer. This past weekend I visited West Lafayette and God provided for me! I think I may have my living situation for the next year figured out (and for a cheap price too, which is an answer to prayer). I also may have a part time job possibly lined up for next year, but we will see about that one haha. Kids are really not my thing yet, but I am willing to try... Now I am back at home and have to resume the grind of the summer. It is so tough to be away from "my people" but it is something I must do to get my ducks in a row. This Thursday I will be doing a film shoot for a Great Lakes Chi Alpha Promotional video which should be fun... That's all for now. Be back soon...

It's Hard Being First

Sometimes it's hard being first.

You have no example to follow.

You have no idea if you're doing things the right way.

It is a lonely feeling.

Their eyes are watching you.

What will the others think?

What will the others say to you?

What if you mess it up?

But what if you succeed?

What if you are doing things the right way?

How will you know if you don't try?

Reflections on the Past 4-5 Years of My Life

Senior Year Part 1 (2008-2009)

This entry has more of a show and tell feel to it. The first part of this story has to do with my room. Here are some pics so you can get an idea of what I was living in. I actually signed up for this room to live by myself. I signed up for it without even looking at it. I didn't know the size until I got there on move in day.

A view from the door... You can see how the huge tv dwarfs everything in my room.

The original room configuration. I could not fully rotate that desk chair 360 degrees. There wasn't enough room.

The new room configuration, where I could fully rotate my desk chair.

Okay, I just put this on here to make me look smarter... hopefully it worked...

A surround sound speaker. A man must have his sound system.

My desk. I like to call it organized confusion. It might look messy, but I usually don't lose anything. I promise.

This was my room. It was quite small, but I eventually learned to live with it. I had a few freshmen come by the first night and comment on how small the room was. One even called it a "jail cell". That's what I get for not shopping around first right? The very first night I was there, some of the previously mentioned freshmen that came into my room smelled the blood right away, figuratively speaking. Within five minutes of talking to me, they discovered that I was over 21 (and thus eligible) and asked me to buy them some alcohol at the store. I never did know how serious they were, but obviously I told them I wouldn't do that. I imagine they were serious.

This floor I lived on was the craziest floor I was ever a part of. I guess it was never boring either, like it or not. I lived with a bunch of freshmen. I was about as old as my RA or perhaps even older, I never did figure that one out. There were fights, loud noises at night, blood drops randomly in the hallway, kids returning from the parties drunk, a snowball fight in the hallway, and real fights among other random stuff. Never have I ever been a part of a crazier group of guys.

In December of this year, we had the 2nd World Missions Summit, so obviously I was there. It was a Chi Alpha Nationwide Conference that they put together bringing in missionaries from around the world, as well as students from all around the country. This was a pretty crazy conference. I got to hear from people who are on the front lines of ministry on other college campuses or in other countries. I got to see some of my friends that I had met the year before at SALT again, so that was fun. I also met some new people like the campus pastor at University of Wyoming (totally random...). Our Chi Alpha group had recently sent them some money for their Chi Alpha house, I believe, so maybe it wasn't so random... It was here at this conference that I signed the Give a Year, Pray About a Lifetime card along with a few hundred of my closest friends. I didn't give too much thought about it then, but this decision would turn out to affect my life in a great way.

Since the conference was in Cincinnati, I walked to Kentucky with a group of my friends in the middle of the night which was just as much fun as the year before at SALT. And since it wasn't as cold this time, we didn't freeze.

This was the year I was supposed to apply to my clinical classes for Medical Technology. I didn't feel that great about my chances because my grades weren't spectacular, and one of the other larger portions is the interview and I definitely didn't have confidence in that either. I decided I would try anyway and you never really know what's going to happen (only God knows). I pretty much knew I wasn't going to get in, but yet it still made me very upset to read the rejection letter because no one likes rejection. It was hard to take because this is what I was planning my life for. I changed my major with the expectation that I would be moving on from college life to these clinical classes. God had other plans for me (which will be addressed in the next entry of this series).

The next big event of the year was the spring break trip to Carbondale, IL to hang out with a more veteran/larger Chi Alpha group. Even though they have a smaller campus than Purdue, they had a much larger group than we did at the time. We basically did everything that their Chi Alpha group normally does along with them. We also did some special outreaching stuff like surveys and God table. We also watched this seminar from Bill Gothard. There was so much truth and teaching presented in those videos that I was exploding by the second day. I struggled with the sheer volume of truth he presents. One day we had a planned fun day. We went to this park to hang out. We were supposed to play ultimate frisbee, but the frisbee was left at the house we were staying at. So we decided to play ultimate water bottle. Same rules as ultimate frisbee, except that the frisbee is replaced with a full water bottle as seen below...

While we were playing, I got hit in the face with the water bottle, which promptly ended the game. I was hit in my mouth and was slightly dazed for a few minutes afterward...Oh what fun!

During the week before Easter, we did some special outreaches for the first time on campus. We had some extra surveys and we also read the Bible out loud to people walking by. I occupied the very first time slot with my friend Levi at 11 am Monday morning. I was freezing cold and I forgot my gloves. I had a hard time feeling my hands after that was over, but hopefully someone somewhere gained something from hearing God's word.

This was a pretty crazy year as they all seem to be. But I saved the craziest for last...

Reflections on the Past 4-5 Years of My Life

Junior Year (2007-2008)

I didn't know it at the time, but looking back on it, this was the year that completely turned my life around in every way. In every area of my life, I was turned upside down by Jesus. Let's go for a ride...

So this is the year that Chi Alpha got started on Purdue's West Lafayette campus again after a significant absence. God answered my desperate prayers (I am sure I wasn't the only one praying...) in pretty short order. This is a pretty significant request, and so it seemed like God was just waiting for us to ask in order to unleash the blessings. At least thats what it felt like. We started out with a decent number for a new Chi Alpha group, probably 15-20 people or so. Many of them were from the church I had started going to, or from the Bible study from the previous year. We had our meetings on Thursday nights.

Our Pastor preached on a wide variety of topics that fall. From what I've heard, she would pray and ask God, hear from God, and then prepare a message. Which is a good way to do things I might add. Of course the topic I am going to talk about is the Baptism of the Holy Spirit (BHS), which you can read about for yourselves in the Bible. I guess you could say that it changed my life. I had received the BHS before when I was younger, but I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't really know that much about it. But after hearing the sermon, I went to the front and received it. I am not someone that does too many crazy things, but this would be right up there...

This is a really good point to mark the before and after picture. Everything before this is the before picture, and everything after this is the after picture. For my life, it really is like those commercials on TV that you never believe the transformation that occurs from before to after. I would argue that it my transformation is even more unbelievable. Those that knew me before and then after know what I'm talking about...

I don't even know what happened to me. I can't explain it, other than I gave God permission to come in and clean me up and do His work to me and He did that. It was all a blur to me. I still can't ever remember much about it. One thing I can say he did was open me up to people. He gave me an ability to quickly be open with people. I was suddenly able to look people in the eyes when conversing with them. Maybe this is easy for some people, but this was a true transformation for me. He literally unleashed a different person...

Maybe some other good thing also happened that year, but the most important thing left to talk about is the Spring Break Trip we took to Peoria, IL and IHOP-KC for the week. I believe this is the other thing that really helped to shape me as a person during my college life. The idea behind this trip was to expose us to what a "typical" Chi Alpha meeting and group looked like. All our missionaries had participated in Chi Alpha during their time in college and had an idea in our head, but they decided it would be more powerful if they could show us instead of telling us.

I almost didn't go on this trip. What an opportunity I would have missed. It was a day or so before the deadline and I hadn't even remotely thought about going, but my friend Lauren bugged and nagged me into going and so I decided to give it a try. (Sidebar: There could be people around you waiting for you to invite them to come along. They probably want to go, but people want to be wanted, and this helped me to go.) I got signed up just in time for this. Man, am I glad she did so...

First stop on the trip is Peoria, IL and the Chi Alpha there. I was fortunate enough to stay with a gracious host family. The first night we got there we had about an hour to go to our places we were staying, and then we had to go to their service at their sweetness Chi Alpha house. I decided to have a little fun on this trip, to let loose and try to get rid of the inhibitions that have entangled me so much in my life, within reason of course. I set a goal for the night (see my post about setting goals...). It was to meet 5 new ladies and remember their names. Difficult, but attainable and measurable. I don't know that I had it that night, but by the time I left, I knew more than 5 ladies names... I was determined hahahahahahaha!!!

While we were there, one of the things we did was some evangelism on their campus. This came in the form of God Table, and prayer walking, and singing songs out loud in public. All of these things were very new to me. God was by no means new to me, but sharing God in public and standing up for my faith was a new thing for me. It was quite scary but I would never see most of these people again I figured, so I decided to try everything out that I could. It felt really good to finally step out there and try something bold for Jesus.

This next part is a little awkward to tell, but I believe it's necessary to tell, since I'm trying to be honest and forthcoming with everyone that reads this. This one is about words. The words we say to others especially. I certainly had some problems with the words and sarcasm I was using toward other people. I liked to use it cause I thought it was funny, and I usually got a good laugh when using it as well. However it was just plain mean sometimes and degrades people where that needs not to happen. I slipped on it this one time and called one of my friends "trash" when under normal circumstances I would normally never do this. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever did that. I felt so gross all over after that happened. Even today if I say something negative about someone else, it makes me feel totally gross all over. Today I guess I would say when other people do it and I am not even involved, it still makes me feel gross...

The second part of this revolutionary trip was the trip to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. I believe it's in the Missouri part of Kansas City... A building solely dedicated to prayer. How unbelievable that is... It was a strange experience being there, even for me. Being raised in a Pentecostal environment, I have seen a lot of things, but I even saw some things here that were strange for me. I guess there are various ways we can worship God, and who am I to say what is good and bad. There were flag wavers, and dancers among others. I also had an opportunity to go to their prophecy room to have a word of prophecy spoken over me. That was an interesting experience. Maybe one of these days I will go back and listen to that tape. I can't even begin to describe the experience I had there, other than the fact that God was all over that place. It is something you really have to go and experience for yourself.

This trip was one of the highlights of my time at Purdue. I would say that after this trip, I actually felt like part of a family. I felt like a part of something that was bigger than myself. I had finally found what I was looking for. Some people to love and accept me for who I am. I really felt close to the group that went with us on the trip. We all grew closer together, and closer to God. It was one of the best times of my life. And I am sure glad that my friend bugged me about it until I decided to go... Thanks Lauren...