Words of Wisdom (or Experience) Part 5

This is my last week as a member of the student body of Purdue University, and America. I have been through a lot in my 4... (or make that 5) years of college. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life here in West Lafayette and how it could have been different or it could have changed. It is a sobering thought that in 3 week's time I will really really be out on my own in the real world. So basically each day this week, I will try to leave you all with some story or something I have learned that you can use (if you like) in your own life. Maybe I have suffered some so you can suffer less by learning from my mistakes...

Thursday (Setting Goals)

This will probably be a shorter post, since there isn't too much to say, other than that it works. Setting goals gives you something you reach for. Your goals should be measurable and tangible. Something you can mark yourself against, and something you can see or feel. A good example goal is "I want to get a 3.0 GPA this semester" or another is "I want to get to 400 friends on facebook" (both of which I accomplished in my life, haha). Examples of bad goals would include "I want to have more friends on facebook" or "I want to increase my GPA this semester." I am a huge fan of checklists. They give you a visual reminder of what you need to do, and they a sense of accomplishment when you finish something.

This one is more of a life tip I guess. If you set your own goals, it will give you direction in life. Something to reach for. Something to hold onto. Something to hang your hat on. Setting goals in the big things as well as the little things in life is important as well. Once you set a goal, you must get to work on how to accomplish that goal. One of the highest highs in life can be achieved in reaching a goal. Writing down your goals in a journal or somewhere you will see it often is also important in goal setting. You should see this written down as often as possible right up until you accomplish your goal (perhaps a mirror or on your desk).

Also, it doesn't hurt at all to change your goals along the way. If you see that things aren't going as expected, maybe you need to refocus. Changing your goals can help you stop and re-evaluate yourself and your path.

This is all something I wish someone would have taught me when I was a freshman coming into college...

I don't know about you, but I would rather go straight to the promised land instead of wandering around in circles in the desert for 40 years.

Words of Wisdom (or Experience) Part 4

This is my last week as a member of the student body of Purdue University, and America. I have been through a lot in my 4... (or make that 5) years of college. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life here in West Lafayette and how it could have been different or it could have changed. It is a sobering thought that in 3 week's time I will really really be out on my own in the real world. So basically each day this week, I will try to leave you all with some story or something I have learned that you can use (if you like) in your own life. Maybe I have suffered some so you can suffer less by learning from my mistakes...

Wednesday (Making friends/Shy People/Encouraging Words)

I am by no means an expert in making friends and relationships. One would think I am since I was an Army Brat and moved around many times in my childhood. I have had to make friends over and over and over again. Saying goodbye got worse and worse each time. I would say that this is one somewhat negative thing about my childhood, but I know that it had to happen. Dad was providing for the family and serving our Country, and for that I am proud. I have made and lost more friends than I can count. Perhaps I have not been good about keeping contact.

As I may have previously mentioned in this week's posts, in my first two years at Purdue I made two or three friends total. Much of this was my fault perhaps for not trying enough. I was just too scared to put myself out there for other people to see. I didn't want them to see me hurting or see my desperation. I was a pretty broken, hurting person, now that I look back on it.

I also have a more private personality. I do enjoy my time away from people, away from the world. That probably also contributed to my troubles my first two years of school. I just didn't have the skill set or the confidence to make new friends. I was just really shy and struggled with conversations. I had not learned about how to talk to people (it really is a skill I think...) yet.

Going somewhere new by yourself is always awkward. That is why God has given us groups to travel together in. Groups can be very supportive. Entering someone else's group, however, can be quite difficult.

During the formative years of Purdue Chi Alpha, we had a decent amount of good people that participated in our group. At this time I was a junior. By this time I had probably doubled my friend output to 4 or so. I could still count them only using my fingers. Most of the normal people got along fine as far as I could tell. I was still alone and hurting, even though there were many people around me. That is a terrible feeling to have. These were people that were to be Christians. They are supposed to be the most friendly, loving people on the planet, yet I was still always on the outside looking in. I would just stand there nervously, close enough to people for them to know I am there hoping they would somehow pull me into the conversation, and I would be ignored. I always wondered if they would notice if I was missing and didn't show up anymore. After the Chi Alpha meetings and the hangout period, I would walk home crying each week because no one would talk to me. The tears would come as I walked past fraternities because I would hear their loud music and assume they were having the time of their lives while I suffered at college. I felt like some kind of monster, like something was wrong with me. I had no idea what I was doing wrong or if there was anything I could do to fix myself.

I guess there is a point to this sad, pathetic part of the story of my life from a few years ago. Many times people are looking to the outside world for people to reach. And it is a good thing to look outside, because that is how you grow your group, and we were told in Matt. 28 to make disciples of all nations. You should also pay attention to your neighbor, saved or not. Maybe God has sent someone right to you for you to have an impact on. There could be someone right next to you that could use an encouraging word, or even a conversation would make their day. I know I was just waiting for someone to chat with me. One thing I like to say is: "Shy people are just dying to talk to you on the inside. They just don't know what to say." This was my personal experience at least.

One thing I like to do if I am in a group conversation, is observe for people that are not talking or contributing to the conversation as much. They usually feel very awkward if they are not being included in the conversation or if they clearly don't know much about the conversation topic. I will then (and I would encourage all of you to do this) break off into a separate conversation with them. It doesn't even matter what it is about. Asking about his or her day (and actually caring about it) can go a long way in improving someone's day or even general outlook in life. I have had feedback about this, and it works so just trust me. It is also a good starting point to do this as I have found.

It makes people feel good if they are noticed. Pay close attention to people. If they don't show up, comment on how you missed them. It may encourage them to attend next time.

If you have something nice and encouraging to say, let it fly. You never know how much your kind words can affect the person you have targeted. Just a couple of sentences is all it takes. You would be surprised how much a small gesture like this could lift someone's spirits, even for a few minutes.

If you see someone on the outside looking in, it's probably because they want in. So let them in. Most people these days are polite enough that they will just stand there and not say or do anything in hopes that you will pull them into things. So pull them into things. Maybe they are waiting for you to pull them in.

Maybe I am an exhorter, or maybe I just think this is something we can all learn to do. How hard is it to use our words to prop someone up? I don't think it's that much trouble at all...

Words of Wisdom (or Experience) Part 3

This is my last week as a member of the student body of Purdue University, and America. I have been through a lot in my 4... (or make that 5) years of college. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life here in West Lafayette and how it could have been different or it could have changed. It is a sobering thought that in 3 week's time I will really really be out on my own in the real world. So basically each day this week, I will try to leave you all with some story or something I have learned that you can use (if you like) in your own life. Maybe I have suffered some so you can suffer less by learning from my mistakes...

Tuesday (The Power of Prayer or Asking)

This topic seems obvious, but I will go ahead and blog about it anyway because God can never receive too much credit. In the Bible, prayer or asking is talked about many times in verses like (Matt 7:7, Mark 11:24, etc.).

One thing I have always wondered is why God makes us ask if He already knows what we are going to ask (Matt 6:8) and He already knows what His answer will be. He knows our thoughts and desires. Why does He make us verbalize?

I don't know that this is actually the answer, but this is what I think. I think when we say things out loud or ask them, it takes your request to another level. It shows commitment, and that it truly is something you want. Our minds can, and very often do, wander aimlessly. We may come up with many random things we want from God every minute of every day. Asking is a premeditated activity. You have thought about it previously and determined that you have a need. And our God is a provider of needs, among other things.

When I was a sophomore, we had a remnants version of Chi Alpha on campus here. We had a men's bible study (cause we didn't know any women that wanted to come yet), and a Thursday morning prayer, but no full time staff or campus pastor. During those Thursday morning prayers, we would pray for many things like our school work, or the campus in general. By this time, God was beginning to turn my life around (even though I didn't know it at the time). Every Thursday morning I would usually find a corner and offer personal requests.

One thing I can vividly remember (because God answered) praying for is more people to help with Chi Alpha. I saw what we had with our two part-time grad students pouring all they could into the small group bible study we had. I just knew things would take off if we could just get someone full time to come here and do the work of the Lord. Every week I would cry out.

I guess somewhat to my surprise, God heard and answered.

He sometimes has a way of over-answering prayers. Instead of sending one person to Purdue, he sent three (and has since added another). Of course God knows that we needed all three of them to come here to serve to get things off the ground for Chi Alpha. I never really had a vision about what would happen, but I just had a gut feeling that if we just had some full-time people, things would take off, and boy have they ever!

What started out as a 5-9 person bible study on Tuesday nights has morphed into a Friday meeting with 75 ish people, prayer meetings each morning, and Tuesday evening prayers that have more people in attendance than the original bible study meetings and prayer meetings from just 3 years ago, and more friends than I could ever imagine (more on that later perhaps...).

Be careful what you ask for... You just might get it... And perhaps even more than you can imagine...

Words of Wisdom (or Experience) Part 2

This is my last week as a member of the student body of Purdue University, and America. I have been through a lot in my 4... (or make that 5) years of college. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life here in West Lafayette and how it could have been different or it could have changed. It is a sobering thought that in 3 week's time I will really really be out on my own in the real world. So basically each day this week, I will try to leave you all with some story or something I have learned that you can use (if you like) in your own life. Maybe I have suffered some so you can suffer less by learning from my mistakes...

Monday (Give Maximum Effort, Don't Give Up!)

Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way, but I firmly believe in "it's not over until it's over". "Not until the whistle blows", "not until the clock expires", or even "not until the fat lady sings"...

I also believe in giving a total, absolute, maximum effort in everything I do. It is probably because I am the most competitive person I know. (Some of you will get that...) I also think that it glorifies God when we give full effort. I also know that there is a fine line between relying too much on yourself and not enough on God.

The truth is, none of us know what the ending is like until we get there. God is the only one that knows the end result, since He came up with it. That's why we are told to run the race with perseverance: Heb 12: 1-Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Giving up is just taking the wide road that everyone travels on, the easy way out. If you start something, you should finish it (unless God takes you in another direction, of course).

Throughout the time I have spent here at Purdue, I have run into many obstacles. The major one was my academics. Previously throughout my life I was regarded as smart. I felt like I was. And then I came to Purdue. The truth is here at Purdue everyone is smart. There is great competition everywhere. My grades started out okay after the first semester, but the next three semesters, they continued to deteriorate. I felt so horrible because I place so much of my self-worth in my grades. If I got bad grades, I was a failure. That's how I felt...

There were times when I wanted to give up. There were times I wanted to just quit and run away and hide somewhere. I felt how David would have felt about Goliath if he didn't have God on his side. School was my personal Goliath. David didn't give up because he had God on his side, and God knows the ending. Sometimes you must go through the tough times in order to get to the other side.

However, though it wasn't easy, I didn't give up. After consulting all sources, I went in another direction. And as it turns out (at least as far as I know) this other direction was the right one.

If I had not had all these academic troubles in my life, I would not be at Purdue. I wouldn't be writing this blog. I would probably be some hot-shot computer programmer working for a company like Motorola or Lockheed Martin or others.

I was then trying to become a Medical Technologist, and in order to do so, you are supposed to take classes at Purdue and then attend clinicals in a hospital so they can actually teach you everything you need to know to become a medical technologist. Last year was my "third year" in a 3+1 program, so I was supposed to apply to get into clinicals. I didn't get in. I felt absolutely horrible. I felt like a total failure. I felt like I was letting my parents down because they work so hard so I can have this education. I felt terrible about having to stay another year at Purdue. I was even angry at God. I wanted to know why I didn't get in, why He didn't let me in... I felt like giving up...

I also didn't see the ending. The ending I am currently standing at now. God saw the ending, though, in all His wisdom.

Looking back, this year has easily been the best year of my college life. I have made many more friends and relationships than I can handle. I have grown this year in leaps and bounds in my relationship with God. I have had more fun this year with my new friends (that keep me young, haha) than I have ever had with any set of my friends from the past. I think I can honestly say that I have no regrets about what happened in the past. I would not trade any of my current experiences from this year to be in that clinical class or a hot-shot programmer. God has given me peace, and I feel like I was supposed to be here at Purdue this year. And there really isn't a better feeling than knowing that you are exactly where God wants you.

Sometimes when things are going bad, you just have to put your head down and power through the situation. Don't ever give up when things look bad. (Always remember that we serve a God that is a winner!!!)

Words of Wisdom (or Experience) Part 1

This is my last week as a member of the student body of Purdue University, and America. I have been through a lot in my 4... (or make that 5) years of college. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life here in West Lafayette and how it could have been different or it could have changed. It is a sobering thought that in 3 week's time I will really really be out on my own in the real world. So basically each day this week, I will try to leave you all with some story or something I have learned that you can use (if you like) in your own life. I know that I was totally unprepared to come to college. Maybe I have suffered some so you can suffer less by learning from my mistakes... But in any case, God is in control of everything anyway...

Sunday (Church/Group Fellowship)
In case any of you dont know, I grew up as a Christian in a Christian home (something for which I thank God every chance I get). This meant going to church every Sunday whether or not I wanted to. But most of the time, I wanted to go. Coming to college opens up a whole new world of decision making. You have more freedoms as you temporarily move out of your parent's home in search of higher education.

When you think of Sunday, you most often think of a day of rest or of church or my personal favorite: naps! Well for my first year or so on campus, my thoughts on Sunday mornings were about sleep and recovering from the previous night's gaming escapades (Halo 2 being the game of choice). I never went out and did anything bad or anything, but I never really went to church on Sundays either during my freshman year.

This is especially shocking since I had gone my entire life as long as I can remember before college, and I thought I was a good Christian and stuff, but I guess when I got to Purdue, a whole different game for my faith began. I was somewhat out from under my parent's protection now. Part of the reason that I never went to church in Lafayette during my freshman year was I didn't have transportation and I didn't have friends to take me to church or didn't know where any churches were. This, however, is no acceptable excuse.

I really believe part of the reason I had such a hard time with my first two years, was that I didn't find solid Christian fellowship in a group on campus or at a church for about a year and a half or so. The devil was free to launch attack after attack with little to no resistance on my part. And of course, he did.

I forget exactly what the statistic is, but there is a large percentage of students that go off to college and lose track of their faith that they grew up with. I guess I was one of those people. I kinda lost track of it.

I suppose one piece of advice from this stuff is to GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY MORNINGS!!!!!

It doesn't matter where you go or who you go with. It is so important to surround yourself with other people that believe in the same Awesome, Wonderful, Powerful, Mighty God that you or I do. I also highly recommend trying to go every Sunday and not skipping because once you skip once, it is always easier to skip the next time. I think the devil does a good job of facilitating that for us, and we need to throw that back in his face.

My entire life turned around after I found a church to go to and some fellowship on campus. I found other believers that I felt like I could be myself around. People that actually accepted me for who I was, the broken soul I was carrying around. I happened to run into a couple of solid guys representing Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship and God used them to change my life forever (there may possibly be more on that later in the week...).

God never left me the entire time I was wavering during my freshman year. Of course, he promises this numerous times in his word... (Deuteronomy 31:8 says: The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.)

The other piece of advice: FIND FELLOWSHIP WITH LIKE-MINDED BELIEVERS!!!!!

This is also Biblical... (Heb 10:24-25 says: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another --and all the more as you see the Day approaching.)

See! The second piece of advice isn't even my idea...

If you have fellowship with like minded believers, that love and value you as a person and friend (or even family :) ), it is a never-ending source of encouragement that is always reliable. How can you beat that?

Had I known these two things, or had access to them during my freshman year, I might be a different person today.

Well I guess I should stop for now and save some of this for the rest of the week...

Onward to the Future!

I think for me, perhaps the greatest source of worry and anxiety is the future. Not knowing what is going to happen next is a very helpless feeling for me. I guess I like to have some kind of control over things, while at the same time, let things flow organically. The last few months of my SUPER senior year have been kinda difficult. People keep asking me what I will be doing. It's a legitimate question, but I must always answer with "I don't know" because I don't actually know.

Maybe this is a time for God to test my faith. Could he be purposefully shutting doors to other opportunities in order to test me to see if I will rely upon him? Or am I just not following the plan He actually has for me and that is why the doors are shutting? It is really easy to encourage someone by telling them to have faith but to have it yourself is a whole different story. How tough is it to watch as a third party determines what happens in your life?

Luckily for me, the third party that is in charge of my life loves me more than I could ever know. He is the creator of the universe and in control of everything that happens to and around me. I am not gonna lie. It has been difficult to learn how to have more faith in God. I have a feeling God will be rolling more opportunities to trust Him my way in the near future...

I guess the obvious verse for this entry is: Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Enter the Cleansing Stream...

My God is soooooo the best God ever!!!!

It is sometimes good to get away and let God deal with you when you're outside of your normal environment and normal comfort zone. I believe God has more of your attention in these situations.

So for the first part of this weekend, I was in Fort Wayne (which isn't a fort by the way...) for the Regional Cleansing Stream retreat. We got there late because our car was full of good students that wanted to go to their friday afternoon classes. I was very confused when we first got there, but by saturday morning, I was getting the hang of things.

What they did was talk about some issues and give us some biblical foundations about the topics and some practical instruction on how to overcome things. It was very hands-on and all of the people in charge were very gracious about everything.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the retreat. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from the Cleansing Stream class when I first signed up and decided to do it. But as I often do with God (and I will always, always, always recommend this strategy. you can't lose with it) I kept an open mind about this.

While I won't explicitly tell you what happened personally on this blog entry (but if you ask me in person, I would be more than happy to share...), all I can say is this: I have never felt so free in my life. I feel like I am on some kind of high, like a gust of wind could carry me away. I feel as if I received my very own personal breakthrough. The last month or so had been kinda tough with my collegiate career winding down and the general feeling of anxiety associated with trying to find something to do after school is done. People always asking me if I have something lined up. Those career questions are legitimate questions, but I just am tired of having to say I have no idea. I had mostly felt peace about the unknown anyway (and for those of you that really know me, that's a miracle from God himself), but it still gets on my nerves somewhat. But no matter how I feel, God has a plan for me and I accept His version. There is a reason why He is God and I am not...

In conclusion: Isaiah 26:3-4

Decisions, Decisions...

Do you ever think about the decisions you make? The small ones? Like, "Which way should I walk today?" or "The green shirt or the purple shirt?" (Duh! the purple one!) Sometimes these decisions lead to great occurences in life.

I would like to think that I don't regret any of my decisions, but that is sadly far, far, far away from the truth. Sometimes I like to think about all the things that have to happen for a specific event to happen. This is just one way to reinforce how sovereign God is in your life, about how much He is in total control, even if you're not letting him...

I had been thinking of visiting this someone randomly one day just to talk for a long time (a couple weeks), but I never got around to it. This person means a lot to me, and I don't have a lot of time left on the campus (where I would have easy access to him). I had kinda put visiting him on the back burner of life. However today, God had other plans...

Here's what happened...

Last night, I looked on Blackboard and discovered that my 10:30am class was cancelled. (*Celebratory Fist pumps*) However, I still needed to show up to class to turn in an assignment, which is fair enough since we had the due dates at the beginning of the semester. I had to go to the library early before class to print something off for it (in pretty colors). So I did and showed up and turned it in like a good student would. I had an hour left until the next thing in my day, so I went to the Union to study (as I had planned on doing the previous night during fistpumps). Guess who I ran into as I was approaching Starbucks? He was walking off to go somewhere else I am assuming but I caught him. A few seconds earlier, or even a few seconds later, and I would have missed him. But God was kind enough to have our paths merge, and kind enough to have freed both our schedules up. And we had good conversation for 45 minutes or so.

God is so good that He even remembers stuff that you forget. And still blesses you with it...

Underdog...

I'm sure there will be plenty of reaction over Duke's National Championship win available for your viewing pleasure in cyberspace and rightfully so. There will be those Duke haters out there (you can probably include me) that will whine and complain about the game. The truth is, this was supposed to happen. Duke is the big bad wolf of the college basketball world. And this year, they huffed and puffed and blew Butler's National Championship hopes down the drain.

Now I am not nearly the athlete I would like to be (or even the one I think I am in my head), but I do try to get out there from time to time to hoop it up among other things. Sometimes at the gym there are clearly former high school basketball players and guys that are just plain athletically superior to me: larger, faster, stronger, etc. Against a lot of players, I wouldn't be the favorite to win. (I will sometimes even voice that opinion to my teammates if I happen to know them.) But I never let that get in the way of trying my absolute hardest to compete anyway.

Playing the role of underdog is a tough thing. The whole world is against you. Sometimes You are fighting against yourself. You can do everything possible to win, and it may not be enough. And that is the worst feeling in the world one can have in my opinion. Scratching and clawing and fighting your way to the top only to be denied when you're within a few steps of the top. I wonder how all of those people that train months and months on end to scale Mount Everest feel if they make it to the last base camp and then can't go on and must choose between life (giving up) and death (when they may not even make it to the top). I would be completely devastated. Not sure if I could ever get over that...

The truth is if you don't try and quit before the game begins, the favorite, the Big Bad Wolf has already won the game. If you don't put on your climbing gear and try to climb Mount Everest, the mountain has already won. If I don't put on my shoes and get out on the court, the bigger, stronger, faster players have already won. While the majority of the pressure of the situation lies with the favorite, the underdog must accept his share of the pressure as well.

I absolutely detest losing with a fiery passion of 1000 inflamed arrows flying in the air, but what I can't stand even more is a lack of effort, a lack of trying, giving up before the battle begins. I want people to say that I gave my best effort, my everything, to whatever I do. I want to scratch and claw so much that my nail are worn down to the bone from all the effort I have given. That is going to take a lot of scratching, so I better get started...

Singled Out...

I have these three friends (I will not mention their names, but upon reading this, they will recognize themselves) that used to tell me I had this phantom gray hair in my epic thick flowing awesome Asian black hair. They would remind me of this single hair (they claimed there was only one) every time I would see them. I of course, being a 23 year old, aggressively denied their lighthearted claims. On Wednesday, I was have a terrific hair day and while admiring my terrific hair in the mirror of a bathroom on campus, I caught a glimpse of this shiny thing in my hair. To my horror and amazement, there stood a single gray hair. The one my three friends had been warning me about... I felt as if I had an epiphany, as if I had discovered that which was hidden from me...

Don't worry. I didn't let it ruin my day.